Dear America,I was on that liberal panty-wipe news website CNN this morning and I was horrified to hear about the four boy scouts killed by a twister. The sissies at CNN wrote the story with "compassion" (read: "bleeding hearts"), but America, I think we need to take more drastic measures than writing stories about these Boy Scout heroes. I call on you - all of you - to join me in a boycott against tornadoes. We will not tolerate this terrorism that takes the lives of this country's children. Do not accept the reign of terror that these freak forces of nature inflict on our people. Stand up! Be patriotic! I will cut off your mic if you aren't!
And then I read this filth about that unpatriotic Michelle Obama. How dare she say her husband's nomination is the first time she's felt affection for her country? Let me guess, Mrs. Obama, you clapped and cheered when those terrorists forever maimed our landscape on 9/11. You should be shipped to a leper colony, Mrs. Obama! May they eat your rotting, dangling limbs! CUT OFF HER MIC! I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS! THIS IS A NO-SPIN ZONE! CUT OFF HER MIC!!
Top Chef has announced its new winner. This cocky bitch had the audacity to say, and I QUOTE: "It definitely took a lot to get to the finals. It's definitely one of the hardest things I've done." TRY PROTECTING THIS COUNTRY FROM INFIDELS, YOU UNGRATEFUL SLUT. YOU THINK WHIPPING UP A FOIE GRAS IS DIFFICULT? LOOK IN THE MIRROR, SWEETHEART. THIS COUNTRY IS UNDER ATTACK FROM DUMBASSES LIKE YOU! CUT OFF HER MIC! I'M TIRED OF LISTENING TO THIS LIBERAL CRAP!! CUT HER OFF!!
Dammit. I'm so mad. Where's Andrea Mackris? I need to sexually harass someone before my heart explodes in anger.
Bill.
1 comment:
lolz.
this is a good one.
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